The Story Goes….

Perhaps you were with me up there that day. Up on the Headwaters ridgeline where my eyes were drowning in tears. I wasn’t crying from any physical pain, just the pain of the mind. It was pretty usual for me back in those days to experience an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. I had woken up that December morning in 2018 feeling incredibly down on myself, the feelings had carried over from the day before, that yesterday was one I’ll never forget. I had learned some valuable lessons but I didn’t understand them yet & I was up on the ridgeline now, just trying to figure it all out. 

I was having a hard time figuring anything out because I was lost inside my head, my thoughts were on me, just me, and how sick I was of myself. Forgiveness of Self wasn’t something I was practicing yet, as far I was concerned I was just an evil shadow of horrible grossness, undeserving in every way.

Yet somehow I was up on the mountain right where I needed to be. As I was hiking along the sun was shining on one side of the ridge and there was a storm cloud on the other side of me, stuck down around the rocky cliffs. I remember riding the ski lift to get up to the hike through a heavy snowstorm, surprised to find sunshine above the clouds at the top.

As I walked I noticed reflecting off of the clouds beneath me a circular rainbow that was quite tiny and small, also known as a Sundog. Except this Sundog was not around the sun as usual, perhaps it was from another angle but from my perspective it was on the opposite side of me from the sun and I was in between the rainbow and the sun shining behind me.

Then the sun shone a little brighter as it came out from some of its own fog and I noticed my shadow starting to appear in the middle of the rainbow!! My shadow grew more noticeable and its edges became crisp. As I walked the “Snowbow” followed me, always around my shadow; always around me! This went on for the duration of the hike, at least a good 20 minutes or so.

With plenty of time to contemplate this surreal phenomenon that was blowing my mind, I couldn’t help but realize it was a sign from The Source. After all, I had been praying for some sort of hope or comfort and perhaps this was my answer. I knew right away what the sign meant, every step I took it became clearer and clearer! I was being told who I was.

That day I realized that I am a glowing rainbow of a person, my task was only to see it. That even a shadow has its place and from The Higher Perspective I am seen as precious, beloved & irreplaceable! 

As time has passed & my self esteem has healed, I have used the snowbow as a reminder of who I am, a child of God; full of worth, beauty, & light, made of love & joy. I now live knowing I hold a divine light of color around my being at all times, even when I fail to see it. 

I look for that light in you & I see it every time. I wonder if you will choose to see it too?

Find tools for healing anxiety in this post here or this one!