Even though I drew this picture years & years ago, I still identify with it sometimes. And that’s ok. It's ok to feel all the emotions, to be sad in the midst of this joyful life. To process.

Rainbows are my way of reminding myself that as a human I deserve to feel the full range of emotions, all the colors of life. In fact, I must. Repressing emotions is what inspired this drawing (refusing to accept my crying eyes) …not ideal.

We must process and release, we cannot hold the feelings inside (they will tear our physical body apart).

Turns out not every day is a "highlight reel"

And not every "bad" moment has to take over the whole day. Let alone multiple days!

It's ok to feel whatever it is you need to feel and then let it go and move on. I didn't always know this. I used to ALLOW one hour of "misery" to make my entire week miserable.

In those moments I do still sometimes feel out of control, unable to take responsibility for what I am ALLOWING to effect me. But that's all part of the learning game, right? Learn through experience (& practice)

This post is just to give you permission to be human; to be as "messed up" as I am. If I'm here being human, you can be too. After all, we are all this way sometimes.

Just don't dwell there longer than is needed to move on.

...
Now in writing this I feel like a total hypocrite or impostor. "Who am I to tell you how to be when I can't even live up to it myself sometimes?"

I know all the things to do, the cognitive processes to reinterpret situations and see from the big picture or new perspectives. I know the importance of breathing! I have the tools and yet why wouldn't I use them in the heat of the moment?

Well maybe you're here too, wondering along with me. I'm sure the answers will be individual.

But regardless, if I'm here being honest, we can all be honest with ourselves. Give ourselves some grace and forgiveness. Keep going, keep practicing, don't give up.

Even though I may not use the tools perfectly every time, I can still look back to who I was a few years ago and see a huge change. Look for the ways you react to things differently, this is all the proof we need to keep being persistent in our journey.