Why isn’t it easier?! Motivation to Keep Doing the Work
I was recently under the conclusion that getting past my anxiety “should” be easy, or if not easy, at least easier! This was just another little lie my ego was telling me, just another excuse to find proof for the belief that anxiety was part of my personality. The old me, who didn’t believe in possibility, was discouraging me by saying that if it were possible, I “should” have already accomplished it. Deceiving me by saying, with all the effort I was putting in, I should have already been over it, that it shouldn’t be taking so long, or feeling like so much work. (This is why someone with anxiety may have little grace for themselves and beat themselves up when they have yet another panic attack when they thought they should be better by now)
The truth of the matter is, at some point it does get easy! At some point, with enough practice, thinking empowering thoughts and not entertaining the worrisome ones, becomes second nature! The problem arises when we don’t have enough motivation to press on and persevere until that point. It does take a LOT of practice to get to that point. Our pride makes us think it should just happen overnight, or at least over 5 years of practice!! Right?! But there is no time scale for, trying long enough before you're allowed to give up. Giving up just isn’t an option if you want to live a life of bliss and calm. It may take longer than you first expected. That’s how it was for me.
However, it’s no doubt that I am a firm believer in ease. If something is too hard, we won’t even try, but there's nothing wrong with a little bit of challenge! Challenge and work can be enjoyed if looked at from the right perspective! It really comes down to your motivation and belief. Be motivated by the belief that all the hard work you’re putting in will bring you to a place of trust & calm as your primary reaction to any given circumstance.
I just needed somebody who had been through it already, to come along and say, “Don't give up, eventually it does get easier. Don’t be discouraged just because it’s not already as easy as you would like. There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of struggle. It’s okay to struggle. It doesn't mean you're not growing or moving forward just because you're struggling.” (Thankfully I was told these things & now I’m telling them to you!)
I know that we do not have to hit rock bottom to rise up, but I also know that if there are blockages (limiting beliefs) above us, causing us not to be able to reach the surface of “painless growth” those must be addressed first! We must dissolve the false beliefs before we can build the ladder of bliss and enlightenment on our foundation, otherwise no matter what we build, it will keep crumbling down due to our shaky foundation of lies. (At one point, I even had the belief that growth cannot happen except through pain, guess where that led? To always sabotashing my positive momentum with more negativity to overcome.)
Now that you understand growth is not always easy, even if ease is ideal, we can go take a closer look at not giving up on The Work despite any discomfort. Afterall, the discomfort of anxiety is what causes us to search for the way out in the first place. Discomfort has always been on our side, more on this soon!
Giving up or not giving up has been a pattern in my journey; a walking in circles that had me passing back by where I started again & again. It wasn’t until I had the motivation (belief in possibility) and the tools (the work) that I started to move past the option of giving up. Giving up was finally no longer an option!
But the question is, what is the work?
The work is every tool I’ll be writing about over the coming months, but it all comes back to your thoughts. So lets begin the introduction to the work with these key thought tools (which I’ve also posted here for easy reference)
“Your thoughts are the master key to every door in the mansion of your mind”~Herietta
Our most empowering tool is to notice our thoughts. We must question our every thought if we want to eradicate negative and self degrading thinking! We must simply be aware of our every thought. Yes, this work is hard, but believe it or not, with practice, it will be second nature for you just as it is for me. (& I still practice everyday)
How do you challenge your thoughts?
First it requires an awareness of the thought, at first the awareness may come via the emotion you are feeling. Maybe you feel sad, discouraged, depressed. These emotions are indicators of thoughts left unchecked; thoughts that don’t serve you. At this point, it’s too late, those thoughts have already been accepted by you and created chemical responses in your body, but that’s ok because it’s a good starting point. It’s important to be introduced to the awareness by the indicators and from there you can grow into catching the thought before it causes pain.
Now I know the age old argument, about depression just popping up out of nowhere with no explanation. Don’t worry if that’s where you are, it’s just another belief and I had it too. The belief that nothing is causing the sadness, that you just have it. But stick with this long enough, this awareness of thoughts, and you will see indeed, every pain you’ve ever felt was due to a thought you were thinking. And maybe that’s your first step, maybe that’s where you’ll focus for a while, just in the place of evicting that belief. And when you’re ready, move on the questions we use to challenge them.
What questions to have around your thoughts?
Say “No!” (to the thoughts that are causing you pain) It’s time to show your thoughts who is boss!
If the thought still sticks around, ask “Is this thought true?”
A. If the answer is, “No” then dismiss the thought. Tell it, “No!” and take back the control of your emotions.
B. If the answer is, “Yes” ask, “Can I control this thing that is making me upset or not?”
a. If you can control it, then take action. Do something that makes you feel better.
b. If it is out of your control, then surrender & dismiss the thought. (“Negative emotions arise when we think we have control over that which we have no control.”)
C. If the answer is, “Maybe” Then it’s probably a thought that has to do with the future (such as worrying about a possible outcome) or maybe it’s a thought about what someone else is thinking about you. Either way, anytime the answer is “maybe” you get to choose! You get to choose what lie you want to believe; such as what lie you want to tell about your future or what lie you want to believe someone is thinking about you (it’s a lie because you can never tell the truth about the future which hasn’t happened yet, and you can never truly know what someone is thinking about you. So whatever you believe will be a lie.) So if you’re going to believe a lie, why not lie something wonderful!? Why not reverse the thought process by believing in a positive future or that someone is actually thinking uplifting thoughts about you?
Now there are many other tools I’ve been learning, but this one is the foundation!
So I wonder, will you do the work along with me?
True empowerment begins inside of ourselves. I do believe I draw my power from The Source of Power but I also know that with free-will in the picture, it is unfair of me to ask God to fix all my problems. Indeed ‘his’ answer to that prayer are long roads of many things coming together to show me how to answer the prayer for myself. God could easily turn my world upside down and change everything, but lasting change is so much deeper than upside down circumstances, those just lead to the same free-will choices that I have to make either way. You’re not going to see God messing with your free-will or rewiring your brain patterns and habitual reactions in your sleep, the way God does these things is through lessons and circumstances that cause us to make the changes within ourselves. True empowerment begins with YOU!
And so, are you doing the work?!