Balancing the Releasing of Control
Balancing the Releasing of Control was started nearly two years ago. It sat unfinished for over a year, even though it was so close to being complete. Not because I didn’t know what to do next, but because fear quietly crept in and parked itself in my head.
This piece was originally titled The Elementalist and inspired by a tarot card. At the time, I was going through shifts in my spiritual life, questioning beliefs, and reading into things so deeply that it became unhealthy. I became very aware of how beliefs shape behavior and how easily fear can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I eventually realized something important. No matter what we’re told, no matter what symbols or systems we engage with, meaning is filtered through our own interpretation. That interpretation can empower us or harm us. And once I saw that clearly, the fear lost its grip.
I chose to retitle this piece as a way of letting go of the need to label, predict, or control. Not out of fear, but out of trust. Trust that I don’t need outside systems to tell me who I am, where I’m going, or what will happen next. Trust that seeking constant answers often means we don’t trust ourselves enough.
This painting holds that tension. The desire to know, to control, to feel grounded. And the quiet strength of releasing that grip and standing in uncertainty anyway.
I don’t teach beliefs anymore, mostly because I’m still learning how fluid they are. But I do believe this. There’s a certain peace that comes when you stop trying to explain yourself, stop trying to predict everything, and simply allow.
This piece carries that energy. It’s raw, reflective, and deeply human.
If Balancing the Releasing of Control resonates with you, it’s available now and ready for a home that understands its quiet depth. It’s a reminder that you don’t need a roadmap to trust your next step.
Thank you for holding space for my work and for the stories that live inside it.
Furthermore, I made this pieces twin about the same time:
Here’s my thoughts at the time of completing the piece:
At first this was to illustrate "the muse" but due to my changing beliefs I've decided to title it, The Creative. Because I don't really care to connect with "false" entities anymore. Things from lore and mythology don't satisfy me like connecting with the actual and real God of creation.
In fact, when I first started my professional art practice, I was using my art to worship God and get in touch with The Presence every time I painted. Relying on divine inspiration. Slowly I got away from that into inspiration that was not for my highest good.
Either way I love how this piece turned out and it's a great expression of creativity and that personality that dips her toes into all sorts of creation.
That's me! I play guitar (though not well) I love to sing. I cook, I paint, dance: ballet and free-form dancing. I love to listen to music. And I also sew and crochet!
So there you have it: Artist. End of story.